Paul Ryan to introduce bill to have all catering & cooking on the hill done by “chicks” in congress to save “hard working Americans’ tax dollars” – Pelosi to make salads.

My sources on the hill are telling me that once the busy current legislative agenda is accomplished, the GOP have plans to introduce a series of bills where-by congress will save tax-payers huge amounts of tax dollars by having all catering and food preparation on the hill done by female members of congress. Pelosi will make nutritious yet tasty snacks and ensure that there is low-carb option for Paul Ryan and according to Section 12 (b) lots of “healthy stuff” to help keep Mitch his cholesterol down – she’s really worried that he just doesn’t eat healthy during those long days drafting abortion / impeachment legislation.

According to senior Republicans on the hill, Dianne Feinstein is “a whizz in the kitchen” and will be in charge of wearing a pretty dress and serving tired congressmen a drink after a hard day of doing absolutely nothing at all.

Congressman Paul Nunn – Georgia (R) said in a joint statement from the GOP caucus that this is being done “out of a deep respect for the tax dollars that hard working Americans pay” and also because “the time Paul Ryan made nachos” they were “a bit burned” which the Hispanic caucus strongly objected to according to inside sources.

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