Why does the GOP love candidates with good hair?

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Am I the only one who has noticed the obsession of the GOP with candidates who have good, no, magnificent hair?

There can be no dispute that in the past election, with Perry and Romney, they totally dominated the important issue of hair.

I think they are onto something here. Can anyone remember the last time a bald or even bald-ish man was elected president? In a well thought-out hair-based strategy they are cleverly picking candidates who take this key factor into account.

I think it goes back to the trauma of when Kennedy beat Nixon. For the GOP this was a game changer. Nixon was heir (not hair) apparent to the god emperor Eisenhower, and thus anointed by god to be the next occupant of the White House.

But Kennedy’s glorious hair prevented the will of god from being implemented.

Since that dark, dark day I think they have under-taken to never ever be “out-haired” again…

PS: Oh yes, I remembered. The last president of the US to be bald was Dick Cheney.

PPS: But the very important “hair rule” meant that he had to pretend that George Senior’s kid was president.



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1 reply

  1. I recall a poll, long ago, about this subject – that more Americans prefer a candidate with good hair than no hair, but the poll didn’t include bad hair. Shows just how hairy politics can be. “I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s. His hair was perfect. I’d like to meet his tailor.” – Excerpted from Werewolves of London lyrics by Warren Zevon. This could be an important clue. Werewolves taking over the government? Now we know what to watch out for. Perfect hair. Who knows what more might be revealed under the next full moon! Is it not true now? Politics here in the U.S. as a mainly two-party system, is like the war between the werewolves and the vampires. Safe bet, vampires are employed by the IRS. Vampires have bad hair because they can’t see themselves in mirrors to fix it. Doctor Frank N. Stein is in charge of health care in the U.S. now. Maybe he can make some new candidates for 2016 in his lab, with perfect hair of course.

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